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For the ontd_ai kink meme #2, prompt 34, Adam/Kris, rimming. bb kris is reluctant at first but Adam shows him what he's been missing., and counting for cliche bingo prompt "seduction". Also because Merry demanded. :P

Written for the Cliche Bingo challenge!
Crackfic Drugs Zombies Speech-deprived Road trip
Jealousy Mutation/physical transformation Weird crossovers Futurefic Touching, hugging, and cuddling
Hypothermia First-person narration Freestyle crossover Sleeping arrangements
We're all going to die! Hooker AU Seduction Telepathy Families
Backstory Darkfic Worst-case scenario First times Yearning/oblivious


by astolat

There were six identical expressions of ew facing him.

"Oh, you are all such straight boys," Adam said. "Which is hilarious, because it's pretty much conversion trick number one. Trust me, it is absolutely fantastic."

"Uh," Danny said, wide-eyed at conversion.

"The missionary operations are carried out on a strictly individual basis as the spirit moves, Daniel," Adam said patiently.

After everyone else had cleared out for the coffin bunks in the back of the bus, Adam said to Kris, "Tell me honestly, is this what straight men normally do for fun? Sit around drinking horrible cheap beer with a football game in the background, trading stories about vanilla sexcapades?"

"Well, yeah," Kris said. "Got less vanilla this time around, though."

"Please," Adam said. "It doesn't even hit butter pecan until there are props involved. Honestly, that was dismal. No wonder you like me best."

Kris laughed. "So how much of that stuff did you make up to yank the straight guys' chains?"

"Why would I need to make up anything?" Adam said. "I have enough trouble just figuring out how much to censor."

"Seriously," Kris said. "That's your favorite thing."

Adam raised his eyebrows high. "Oh, honey," he said, shaking his head in disappointment. "Really?"

"No!" Kris said. "I mean—okay! Sure, it just seems—" He got a little red and embarrassed, adorably.

"Excuse me, Kristopher," Adam said, "how many partners has it been, exactly?"

"Uh," Kris said.

"Do you want to know my totals?" Adam said.

"Uh," Kris said.

"Thank you, I believe my point is made," Adam said. "And you may reopen this discussion only after you've had a tongue in your ass."

"Yeah, I'll get back to you on that, not," Kris said, half-grinning, and Adam stared at Kris in dawning horror, because it had just hit him that odds were good Kris was never going to get rimmed in his entire life, if he and Katy hadn't gotten to it in eight years including the stretch from seventeen to twenty-one.

"Okay," Kris said, warily, "why are you looking at me like somebody just died?"

"I can't believe how completely tragic your sex life is," Adam said blankly. "Have you ever been deep-throated? Or tied up?" Kris's expression was all the answer Adam needed. "Oh my God, what a waste," he moaned.

"Hey!" Kris said. "My sex life is fine, thanks."

"How would you know!" Adam said. "Have you ever even tried Katy's vibrator?"

"Katy doesn't need a vibrator! We've been together since she was sixteen," Kris said.

"Oh my God!" Adam said, scrabbling for the laptop in horror. "Oh my fucking God. What is your home address? Never mind, I have it in here—"

"What are you doing?" Kris said.

"Sending her a Hitachi Magic Wand overnight FedEx from Good Vibrations," Adam said. "She can probably count the orgasms she's had in her life on her hands! Please tell me you at least go down on her."

Kris turned really red and said, "Of course I go—wait, how did we start having this conversation?"

"I was not the one hot to play Gay Sex Ambassador, sweetheart," Adam said, without looking up from the laptop. "But now it is clearly my ethical duty to save your poor wife from a life of sex with worse odds than russian roulette."

"Adam, you are not sending my wife a vibrator," Kris said.

"Dear Katy," Adam said, typing into the gift note box, "I am SO SO SORRY about your husband's pathetic and medieval ideas about his conjugal duties. Please schedule visit in two weeks and I promise I will have him better trained by then. Love, Adam."

"Wait, no, you're not seriously—" Kris said, jumping, but Adam managed to fend him off long enough to hit the submit button. "I don't believe you actually—" Kris started, indignant, but Adam cut him off by catching him around the waist and pulling him into a kiss, a real kiss, licking deep into Kris' mouth while he slid his hand between Kris's legs and stroked him, hard and fast and brutal, little squeeze of his balls, running the full curve of his hand up and down the length of Kris's cock.

Kris made shocked, muffled noises into his mouth, gripping tight on Adam's shoulders while his cock went hard and stiff. Adam turned him, bent him over the table and got his pants unbuttoned. "Wait, Adam, I," Kris said, feebly, except he didn't let that stop him reaching forward to grab the far edge to brace himself, although he was staring at his own hands as if they were betraying him.

"Talk to me in five minutes, if you can still make coherent words," Adam said, and he bent his head down and rubbed the flat of his tongue over Kris's tight little hole. Kris jumped so hard his hips came up off the table, and Adam held them down and licked again, poked the tip of his tongue inside, took it out and blew cool air over the hole. By then, Kris was already breathing in loud, stunned wheezes.

"Oh ye of little faith," Adam said, and then he really got down to work, quick swirling licks, teasing Kris with his fingers while he probed in, biting at Kris's really gorgeous ass a couple of times. Kris had shoved the back of his wrist into his mouth to keep from yelling, and his hips were shuddering under Adam's grip. Adam paused long enough to reach around and get Kris's wrist; he put Kris's hand on his own cock and stroked up and down with him until he was sure Kris had gotten the idea, and then he went back to focusing on Kris's ass.

Kris didn't squirm at all this time when Adam started licking; his hips were pushing up into Adam's hands. He was starting to come undone in this really gorgeous way, going all shivering-limp over the table, breathing noisily and jerking himself off slow, rubbing the head of his cock with his thumb. Adam hummed encouragement, and Kris moaned a little, muffled.

"Told you," Adam said, taking a break to catch his breath.

"Please," Kris said, breathy and urgent. His hips tried to twist, jerking a little. "Adam, please. Please."

"Please what?" Adam said.

"Please whatever," Kris said, a little desperate whine in his voice.

"So, for instance," Adam said, blowing another little tease of air over him, "if I wanted to take you back to my bunk and fuck you—" Kris's shoulders hunched up a little bit, nervously, and Adam laughed softly and bent down and shoved his tongue hard into Kris, really drilled down—tiny little wet thrusts to get deeper, holding him open and flicking the tip back and forth inside him.

"Yes," Kris said, gone absolutely shrill, "Jesus fucking Christ yes, Adam, yes, fuck me, YES—" pounding his clenched hand softly on the edge of the table, thump, thump, thump while he was writhing in this half-convulsive way, hips and shoulders trying to levitate, and he was pulling frantically on his cock, and Adam pressed even further into him and wrapped his hand around Kris's cock to finish bringing him home.

"It's really just unfairly easy," Adam said afterwards, yawning and stretching up and wide. He reached down and petted his own cock through his jeans, comfortingly. They had a good hotel night coming up in a couple of days, he could be patient.

Kris had pulled his pants back up and was sitting next to him on the banquette, staring dazedly straight ahead with a hand cupped over his groin.

"Katy is going to kill me," he said, faint and horrified.

"I would kill you too," Adam said. "Doesn't need a vibrator, for fuck's sake. And I bet if she'd gone out and gotten one you would've gotten all hurt and offended about it."

"She's going to kill me for cheating," Kris said.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Relax, baby, I'll do the talking." Kris looked even more terrified, but honestly, what did he know. Adam stretched again. He'd call Danielle and Scarlett in the morning and get some extra pointers. Not that he didn't have confidence in his improv abilities, but preparation never hurt.

(This is a prequel to the microfic from the other day. *g*)

All feedback much appreciated!

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