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Note: I normally hate this kind of story. Wrote this anyway. Originally posted as a snippet to hpslash@yahoogroups.

Numb with horror, Harry stared at the computer screen. When he'd gone on a mission to figure out why all the Hogwarts girls in Muggle Studies had been giggling hysterically the last few weeks whenever they saw him, he'd expected to find some stupid site that showed a fake picture of him naked or something.

Clearly, he'd been wildly optimistic.

"*Malfoy*?" he said out loud, for the fifth time.

"What about me?" came the unexpected drawling response.

Harry jumped, panicking, and grabbed for the keyboard. Unfortunately, he grabbed so vigorously, he managed to yank it off the computer. He stared down at the loose cable for a moment as Malfoy came closer, then jumped to his feet and plastered himself with his back to the computer screen. "None of your business!" he said, knowing his face was bright red.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow and smirked. "What, looking at porn sites on the school computers, Potter? That could get you expelled, you know. Perhaps I'll call Professor Snape and have him examine your reading matter..." Malfoy pulled out his wand.

"NO!" Harry lunged, grappling for the wand.

Malfoy yelped as they hit the ground, squirming as he tried to keep the wand away. "You're dead for this, Potter," he panted.

Harry tried to pin him down again. "Trust me, you wouldn't like Snape seeing what I was looking at anymore than I would," he said through gritted teeth.

"I *don't* trust you," Malfoy retorted, managing to keep his hand free. "And the next class will be in here in fifteen minutes, at which point you'll be on your way out of the school whether or not I do manage to call Snape before then."

"I wasn't looking at porn!" Harry said, then thought about it. "Well, that's not *why* I was looking at it."

"You *admit* it," Malfoy crowed.

"Will you shut up?" Harry said, blushing. "It's what the girls have been looking at while they're supposed to be doing their internet search assignment for the N.E.W.T.s."

Malfoy sniggered. "You were looking at pictures of naked *men*? That's even better."

"It's not pictures, you ass!" Harry snapped. "It's stories!"

"Stories about naked men, then," Malfoy said, smirking.

That smirk decided him. If *he* was going to be hideously embarrassed, so was Malfoy. "About *specific* naked men," he snarled. "Namely, *us*. Us, *together*."

Malfoy froze with his jaw gaping in a very satisfactory way. "What?" he squeaked finally.

"You heard me," Harry said grimly. "Still want to call Snape to have a look at them?"

Malfoy blanched and dropped his wand.

Harry sighed in relief and relaxed a bit, then realized he was now sprawled on top of Malfoy, lying between his legs. A new blush started creeping up his cheeks as he struggled to disentangle himself.

Malfoy seemed to have the same impulse. He jerked to a sitting position and all of a sudden their faces were barely inches apart and Harry could feel warm breath on his lips. He gulped, feeling very strange inside. One of the stories started out this way, didn't it? The one where Malfoy pushed him flat in the Potions classroom and shoved up his robes and...

Oh god, he was getting hard. And Malfoy's thigh was pressed right up against it--he couldn't help but feel--and what was that pushing Malfoy's robes out of shape?

"Potter," Malfoy breathed softly, "just what happens in these stories of yours?"

Harry closed his eyes and made a small, helpless noise in the base of his throat. If Malfoy *wanted* to, how the hell was he going to say no? And he had to say no, he couldn't possibly--

"Tell me," Malfoy said, insistent and hot, even closer. Harry was scared to look, sure their lips were almost touching.

"You--we--" he stopped, because something *wet* was touching his lower lip, stroking, and he was so dizzy he thought he was going to fall over. He gasped for air, and the wet tongue slipped inside his mouth and started exploring, running over his teeth, and he couldn't help himself, his hands went out and slid into Malfoy's hair and it was just as silky as that story said it would be and he imagined coming into it and they were on the floor, tangled together, kissing and licking and touching everywhere, and he was going to--he was--

He didn't open his eyes. Malfoy cleaned him up and tucked his robes closed, and then Harry heard a mouse clicking, but he still didn't open his eyes. Footsteps came across the floor and stopped by his head.

"This didn't happen," Malfoy said. His voice sounded husky, low, so unlike his usual drawl.

Harry kept his eyes shut. He expected that was enough of an answer.

"And it's not going to happen tomorrow," Malfoy said.

Harry trembled all over.

Malfoy stooped, kissed him hard, and was gone.

After a minute, he got up, carefully keeping his mind blank, and went to the computer. The screen was now showing the Disney website. He put the keyboard back on the tabletop and tucked the cable away absently, then walked out of the room. He could hear giggling voices coming down the hallway, and all of a sudden, he couldn't have cared less.

-= End =-